My Poetry: So Tired

Don't you know?... im tired
of chasing rainbows,
ass, drugs, false careers.
Tired of the hangover
of a year bent double
deflecting constant blows
to bruised ego, which left me
longing to climb umbilical noose
back to the shelter of my mother's womb,
which took 24 years to cut, and
almost took my life as i fought
for the sort of internal peace
only oblivion or death can offer.
Im so tired of texting,
stupid words thinking it will make her
drop her drawers and point
that holy hairy cnut in my direction.
Im so tired of hoping inspiration
will take me from this place
I never planned to be, and
stop me poisoning a body
already weak from late night recoveries.
Im tired of hearing
pavement evangelists insisting
God knows Me,
but can only answer simple questions
with practiced homilies
while trying to slip me salvation
verse pamphlets promising
to bear the weight of parent's cross.
But if He doesn't know,
after so much praying,
his flock knows,
the sea knows, the empty glass knows,
the cut magazine wrap knows,

my bank knows, salt cheeks know,

 now you know,
I'm so tired.